A silent hollow heavy heart. A moment in time where everything stands still. A moment you cannot comprehend why the world is continuing to go on around you. Without them.
No one can see your pain that pours tbrough your soul. Life to ongoing yet time is standing still. Everything stops. The emptiness. The darkness. The immense pain.
Much like birth it's an experience you can not explain unless experienced. Much like becoming a new mother the shock is horrific. The deeper the love the bigger the hole remains in your heart. You cling to time to stand still as it's closer to when you saw them last. You cling to possessions and memories as it's all that is left.
When my Mum commited suicide when I was 27 I was grief strickened for a very long time. Everything was blurry. I couldn't cope. I couldn't go on with a daily 'normal' lifestyle. I was told by my an x-boyfriend's parent (he dumped me 2 months later as it was too much for him) that it was exceptable to grief for about 6 months! Wow
I truly didn't really except it for about 8 years. Although the first 12 months was very blurry.
Grief is so very personal and yours alone. You must grieve in your way. In your time. After several months a friend took me Latin dancing weekly. This was immensely helpful and I felt during those hours no one knew my story, my sorrow and I could allow myself to enjoy.
If you have a friend who is experiencing loss don't be afraid to say "I don't know what to say, but im here". Lots of people lose touch as they don't know what to say. This can be very hurtful. A meal, done shopping, a kind gesture or just silent company can be very helpful.
